Ok. So it is 8.30 am. I am at my friend, Sue’s house. This enables me to work without interruption, as she, bless her cotton socks, has whipped off to Melbourne for the weekend. This means that no-one is asking me to drop them at work, friend’s house or basketball court, no-one is pleading with me to help them find their size 15 shoes that someone else must have taken, the laundry basket isn’t calling me and my own pillow isn’t giving me permission to lay down for another 10 minutes. However, I am alone. I might just make another coffee, I might just warm myself up by reading a few articles. I will just look at the garden and get some fresh air to freshen my thinking… I might I might I might. What is hardest to do is write! Even now I have resorted to a blog post, not my book.
So what is motivation? How do I get some more? Motivation is frequently fueled by loss. Loss of opportunity, loss of credibility, loss of income, loss of acceptance. Even incentive only works if there is a risk you won’t get it! So I need to define what I fear losing. And then I need to work up my anxiety about it, so the effort in writing is far less that the real threats in not. I think it’s lost opportunity I fear. And also acceptance.
Each year my brain feels like it gets a little fuller. It’s not some wisdom, at least about art therapy, that I lack. But as each year passes I also noticed that the plumbing in the brain doesn’t run as freely as it used to. That I have more difficulty converted to words and getting out all that I understand internally. I do feel quite confident as an art therapist (not that I am there yet!), but as an author, a writer… phew. I don’t feel confident. Each sentence requires poring over. I wonder constantly, will my reader understand? Am I assuming too much previous knowledge? Am I saying the bleeding obvious? Does the apostrophe go here or here? Who are these people that can just write and it pours out of them?
So, I need to fear that each passing day will make it harder and harder for me to get this book done. I need to fear that without the effort I am currently putting in, my book will read like a Dr. Seuss book. (I love Dr Seuss…) I need MOTIVATION!
At 2 pm this afternoon, I will post an update. What did I achieve?
(Our family is having a photographic portrait session this afternoon, followed by our fortnightly family dinner, so I get a early minute!)
Have a wonderful day and make it count for something!
So here goes.